Okay, at one level that’s a weird question because obviously anyone can set goals, and certainly anyone who needs to achieve a big task is wise to break it down into achievable goals. But I thought I’d share a few related ideas about feminine energy and the goal-setting process...
For example, have you heard of Claire Zammit and her organisation Feminine Power / Evolving Wisdom? She offers some wonderful courses (that I intend to do some time soon!) in which she explains her perspective that men and women should go about their goals in quite different ways because men are more externally-oriented and focused (refer physiology!) and women are more internally-oriented and ‘diffuse’ (ditto!).
Claire warns that you can’t do your new powerful game-changing thing on top of your old story/pattern. The latter will always pull you down… unless you decommission it! That seems like common sense for both men and women, but she makes the point that it's particularly self-defeating for women to go into action if our goals are not progressing. She provides clues to identifying the limiting ‘I am’ belief that is undermining us, and a five-part formula for creating our desired destiny in her courses and some free info.
Here’s another juicy snippet: you have probably heard of ‘Abraham Hicks’, Abraham being ‘a wise resource’ channelled by spiritual teacher Esther Hicks. I’ve been listening to her recordings more often lately because their material is so deeply nourishing, accepting and inspiring when you’re going through a low patch (which I’ve been doing).
The guidance they offer is that going into action on your goals is the last thing you should be doing if you're experiencing any doubt about the goal. If you’re clear and in the flow and on track, goals are fine, but if you’re experiencing any anxiety, the more you pursue the goal, the more anxiety… Better, they advise, to do anything else – anything that will make you feel good!
The pattern interrupt is a tried and true strategy in so many instances. In this case, shifting your energy into a ‘better feeling state’ is the x-factor to realising your desires. They recommend doing anything that raises your emotional energy even a little, whether it’s generating anger to shift out of apathy, or watching a funny movie, or having a snooze till the troubling thoughts pass, or taking a moment to pause and appreciate something, anything, as much as you can…
That said, there’s nothing like a woman buddy for accountability when you do have goals! (Thanks, S!)
More juice for women!
- Last week I was ‘interviewed’ by Camille Thurnherr, who assists women in magnetising love and opportunities. You can listen to our conversation about relationships and the Hero’s Journey here. (I make an offer at the end of the conversation for Camille’s community – and it’s equally available to you.)
- On Friday 29th November I’m MC’ing and running a couple of mini-workshops at U-Night, an event designed to nourish women. The purpose is to raise funds for those affected by domestic violence. Psychotherapist Anita Bentata will be the keynote speaker, along with MP Maryanne Thomas, but the focus of the evening will be on fun and stimulating (or pampering) mini workshops, and there will be quite a few, including one led by Parenting and Performance Coach Stephanie Kakris, who has just launched her Parenting Oracle Cards. Location: Romsey Neighbourhood House. More information: 03 5429 6724 (Bookings essential)
Photo of women at sunset courtesy Dennis Magati, Pexels, and woman smiling in the mirror courtesy Bruce Mars, Pexels.
Last Saturday my two sisters and I shared stories about our childhood and the many books we read and how our mother's childhood trauma affected our lives as part of a presentation at Mentone Public Library. We were all very big readers and my younger sister Anita remembers us sitting around the kitchen table engrossed in our library books while eating fresh peas out of the pod. Occasionally she would discover a worm, and then feel sick at the thought that she might have already eaten one…
My older sister Yvette remembers us reading as we walked to and from our primary school. She distinctly recalls the day that she was so caught up in her book that she walked slam-bang into a telegraph pole. Like most of us, she immediately looked around to see if anyone had noticed…
And then there’s the story of the Woodcutter in the Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale. Did you know that his role is to teach us the importance of listening to our body and intuition?
My sister Anita is a psychotherapist and author of The Wolf In A Suit. She spoke for the first hour of our presentation about the importance of listening to our unconscious mind.
Here in the west we live in a very conscious ‘left brain’ kind of world. We judge everything by appearances and facts, and in doing so we miss half of the information we could be profiting from.
Anita learnt all this the hard way: she spent several years in an abusive relationship and still distinctly remembers the bad feeling she had when she first met her ex. Why didn’t she listen to the uncomfortable feeling?
Because she had been programmed from childhood not to pay attention to her feelings. She was supposed to just be a ‘good girl’ and ‘do what she was told’ and listen to (and obey) her parents. Her views and feelings were often shut down, as many children’s are. And since we’re dependent on our parents, we prioritise their knowing over ours. It’s a survival thing!
Anita’s take on the tale of Little Red Riding Hood is compelling and I urge you to explore her materials if this snippet resonates with you:
Little Red Riding Hood is a symbol of our innocence, of course. She is sent into the forest (the wilderness, the unknown, the big world) unaccompanied. Her father (the protective masculine) is absent and her mother gives her too much responsibility: walk through a dangerous forest alone to bring food for the sick grandmother. (The feminine often takes on too much responsibility.)
Little Red Riding Hood wanders through the forest in happy innocence, but when she arrives at her grandmother’s home her intuition/unconscious/body alerts her to the aspects of her grandmother’s appearance that don’t seem right: ears too big, nose too big, such big teeth… Unfortunately she doesn’t listen to her intuition/unconscious/body and – well, you know what happens.
The Woodcutter, on the other hand, has been trained to listen to details, to small things, because a little cracking sound could be a tree that is about to fall on top of him, or a rustle could be a wolf in the undergrowth. He’s been trained to pay attention to those little signals, to his unconscious (i.e. messages that don’t come via our conscious thoughts), to his body, to his intuition. He also willing to pay attention to a progression, a build up of those messages.
So he follows his intuition into Grandmother’s hut where he demonstrates another admirable trait: the ability to deal with darkness, to be terrible and messy. He slices the ‘grandmother’ open to release the true grandmother and her granddaughter from the wolf’s belly.
- We need to listen to our intuition, unconscious, our body (right brain) as much as our conscious left-brain.
- We need to connect both types of knowing, to combine the wisdom of mind with the wisdom of body with the wisdom of heart/feelings.
- And we need to embrace both the terrible and the wonderful.
If we do, we’ll avoid walking into telegraph poles and eating worms and hooking up with potentially abusive people…
Did you know that there are always early warning signs of potential abuse and difficulty? Our problem is when we are too disconnected from our bodies and intuition to pay attention to them.
To read Anita’s eBook ‘34 Myths about Domestic Violence’ go to http://www.anitabentata.com/intervention.php
To get her free relationship status checklist, go to http://www.anitabentata.com and scroll to the bottom of the page.
Last blog I mentioned that I have a new Mastery Club Facilitator on board. Nicky Manning first contacted me five years ago expressing interest in training as a facilitator – but life had other ideas! (No straight lines…)
When her family decided to start home educating in 2019, she contacted me with plans to begin the school week with a Mastery Club session. The group would include her 12-year-old daughter, her daughter’s friend (also home-schooling), and her 24-year-old daughter-in-law, and we’d meet via Skype due to the distances.
We scheduled our sessions for 9 a.m. Mondays and, aside from the odd technical issue, soon I was visiting their lounge room via Skype and leading them through the 10-week course.
The beauty of this program is that it combines powerful information about the mind and universal laws (via video clips, stories and activities) with a goal-setting support group. Each person chose a goal to achieve by the 10th session.
I’m delighted to announce a new Mastery Club Facilitator – more about her and her first course next blog! Meanwhile, here’s a snippet:
Nicky Manning completed The Mastery Club 10-week program with a small group of daughters + friend earlier this year via Skype. She loved it and signed up to facilitate her own programs – and is beginning her first 10-week program tonight in Mt Evelyn with nine women. This lady is a mover and shaker! The plan is for those women to learn some skills and then empower their children. Such a great approach, since we know that family culture is a critical factor in our success and wellbeing.
Have you followed the news story about Canadian PM Justin Trudeau’s apology for blackening his face as part of an Arabian Nights costume some years ago?
He’s been criticised for invoking racist and offensive stereotypes that signal to people of colour that they are second-class citizens.
I have never understood the need for racial slurs. To my mind all people are worthy simply because they are human – and that applies to all life forms: I’d like to see all humans, animals and the Earth itself treated with respect. But something that troubles me about Trudeau’s apology is the increasing weight of political correctness.
If you think you need a cracker up your bum to start taking money more seriously, watch this 3-minute video that features Camilla Mendoza, the passionate creator of Money Mastery For Teens and the instigator of the Quest For Riches novel, in which Swedish students talk about their relationship with money and what they are learning from Money Mastery For Teens and Quest For Riches.
(NB. If you'd like to recommend Quest For Riches to your school, you can share the book review (below) by Ann Ruckert of the South Australian English Teachers Association (SAETA).)
I’d actually first asked Jacob to create a new cover for The Mastery Club,
I often hear people say that they don’t read fiction – it’s too ‘fictional’! They prefer real-life content and books that focus (seriously) on current issues or research rather than ‘made up stuff’.
But what they don’t realise is that more and more studies are finding that reading fiction develops the brain and awareness in ways that non-fiction doesn’t.
Any reading is good for us, of course – it develops our vocabularies and general knowledge – but reading meaty, character-driven fiction enables us to share the minds and emotions of others and to ‘live many lives’.
I’m absolutely chuffed to announce that Touch Of Spirit Tours is hosting a Creative Writing Tour through North India – with me as the writing facilitator!
Mela Joy, the founder of this company, was one of my sources when I was researching India for Quest For Riches. Right after the book launch she came to me with the idea of a trip that would be interwoven with a creative writing course.
I was particularly delighted because I just love the way that my life echoes my art!
Schools around Australia are celebrating books and writing and authors and the imagination starting tomorrow for the Children's Book Council of Australia's annual BOOK WEEK!
If you're the parent of a younger child, you've probably been roped into making a costume of one of their favourite book characters. I was very chuffed a few years ago to receive a photo of a girl dressed as Nina from The Mastery Club! A green wig was the key to that costume :-)
This week an article in the Herald Sun declared that 'Aussie kids were scammed out of more than $170,000 last year according to the latest Australian Competition and Consumer Commission scam activity report' – significantly up from previous years. Suncorp behavioural economist, Phil Slade, said 'Kids were particularly susceptible to being ripped off by dodgy operators' and 'One of the best ways to help our kids avoid being scammed is to teach them financial literacy skills at an early age, to help them question things when dealing with money.'
Probably one of the questions I am asked the most often is, 'How are book sales going?'
Those who ask are genuinely interested and caring and want the best for me, but when book sales are trickling it's an uncomfortable question to answer.
Sales for the majority of self-published author are usually quite low; I remember my printer of The Mastery Club telling me that it was rare for self-published authors to return for multiple print runs in the quantity and frequency that I was doing. Even more rare are the international bestseller results. These low sales are why the average Australian self-published author earns about $11,000 per annum...
So let me give you the best question you can ask a self-published author. Banish 'How are book sales going?' and instead ask, 'What can I do to help?'
I promised to give the backstory to Quest For Riches, so here it is:
Camilla Mendoza had been working with divorcées as a mortgage broker when she realised she had to do something about the number of women telling her that they left all money management and financial decisions to their husbands. Determined to change that dynamic, she created a workshop called ‘Money Mastery For Women’. Before long, those women were asking her to create a similar workshop for their children – and ‘Money Mastery For Teens’ was born.
Successful entrepreneur Ludwina Dautovic was one of the guest speakers at the launch of Quest For Riches. I wanted to share with you more of her comments as they are so pertinent for anyone who wants to teach their kids the value of money. Ludwina kindly gave me her entire talk to publish here. Enjoy! If you'd like to share, please give credit. Ludwina Dautovic:
My adult children are 27 and 24. As a young mother I didn’t have a good example of how to teach our children about money. There was a continual message in my childhood home that we couldn’t afford things. My parents were generous with what they had, but they struggled financially and expressed that often.